Switching Jobs (WORK IN PROGRESS)
by Zorana123
Summary: After a few shenanigans, Sniper and Spy are at each other's throats about how "easy" the other's life as an assassin is. The next morning, they wake up to find that they have mysteriously switched brains! Now the two have to get accustomed to their new bodies while Engineer and Medic try (and fail) to find a solution to the problem. What happens next? Hilarity ensues.


**DISCLAIMER!**

 **Now, upon reading the description, I can tell what most of you are thinking. "Hey, Zorana, doesn't this sound an awful lot like Mann Swap?" (In case you're unfamiliar Mann Swap is an SFM video made by a Youtuber named Thoopje where Heavy and Scout switch brains. Check it out, it's pretty great.)**

 **Well, yes, admittedly I did take a little bit of this story from that video. After I watched it, I thought to myself, "What if Sniper and Spy were in that situation?" So that's when I got the idea to write a story about it. But I decided to take a different approach to** ** _how_** **they switch, just so it doesn't come off as a carbon copy. So yeah, this story won't be any crowning achievement in originality, but I just thought it'd be something fun to do. Even if, for all I know, I could unintentionally be ripping off somebody else's fanfiction.**

 **With all that said, enjoy!**

* * *

Everything was all quiet above ground at 2Fort. Nary a single RED or BLU mercenary stood on either side, save for a BLU Heavy supported by his Medic buddy, readily spinning his minigun and moving his head left and right in a repetitive manner, as if his eyes were patrolling the area. The both of them assumed that everyone else on both sides was hiding out in the sewers, involved in some big heist to take the other team's intelligence. Even still, they stayed wary for any of their red clad opponents who would dare to walk past them. The monotony of their current position started to wear on the usually dynamic duo, and their alertness started to decline over time.

This still, quiet atmosphere combined with the pair's lack of wariness served as a perfect opportunity for the lone RED Sniper who stood on the battlements of his team's fort. Smirking, the lanky Australian took aim at the unsuspecting Heavy's head with his trusty rifle. He chuckled knowing that the Heavy can't possibly survive a fully charged shot to the head, no matter how big and bulky he was. His grin only grew wider as he imagined the Medic screaming in terror and/or spouting German swears upon his friend suddenly getting shot.

"Everything above your neck's gonna be a fine red mist," the Sniper whispered to himself, staying as still and quiet as possible to avoid giving away his position, for if he missed this shot, the Heavy wasn't gonna give him a second chance. For a few moments he stood patiently, readying his shot, with his fingers fixated on the trigger. Just as he was about to pull it, he heard a familiar sound behind him...the sound of a Spy de-cloaking. Thinking it was an enemy Spy about to backstab him, he took his focus off the BLU Heavy and quickly turned around.

"BOO!"

Stumbling backwards, the startled Sniper screamed, dropped his rifle, and instinctively took out his machete, ready to cut the intruding Spy into bloody pieces. He froze in place when he realized that it was actually his own team's Spy, who had started laughing at Sniper's terrified reaction despite the fact that he could've been sliced up by accident.

The Sniper suddenly became furious at the Spy's little jest. "You..utter..bloody-"

"Up zhere! Shoot him!" The BLU Medic called to his Heavy companion upon hearing Sniper's yelling.

On Medic's command, the Heavy immediately started firing his gun at the Sniper while screaming maniacally. The Sniper and the Spy somehow managed to run quick enough to avoid being killed by the storm of bullets. Having failed to get the only enemies that came out in God knows how long, the Heavy grumbled quietly and went back to looking around for more potential targets.

Sniper was panting when they made it back to spawn, but the Spy continued laughing, to the point where he began snorting uncontrollably. After being rudely interrupted by the BLU Heavy's sudden onslaught, the Sniper decided he wasn't finished taking his anger out on the Spy.

"Wot the bloody hell was that for?! That lardass was just about dead until you showed up and gave me a heart attack!" The Sniper complained to the gawking Frenchman.

The Spy finally decided to control his laughter a bit. "Well, no hard feelings, roight mate?" He joked while poorly imitating an Australian accent, a habit he knew Sniper was easily irritated by.

"Didja really have to mess up my aim by makin' it seem like I was about to get backstabbed by your filthy BLU counterpart?! I coulda got rid of that Heavy to make things easier for anyone on our team stupid enough to walk through there!"

"Maybe so, but I think a few deaths on our team is worth hearing you scream like a woman," Spy snickered.

"Ah, shut it, ya backstabbin' fraud!"

"At least _I_ stab backs for our team while _you're_ sitting here like the van dweller that you are!" Spy rebuttled.

"You two-faced mongrel!"

"Filthy jar-man!"

"Phony scoundrel!"

"Repulsive bushman!"

"...wanker."

* * *

Later, during that same mission, the RED Spy had managed to sneak his way into the BLU team's base, using his handy invisibility watch and disguise kit to outsmart his enemies. It was no easy task, but he slithered past their seemingly impenetrable defense like the snake that his enemies and allies like to call him.

The job was simple: Get to the intel room, grab the briefcase, and hightail it back to his base without dying. But he realized that job would be near impossible when he saw the defenses that were set up to protect the BLU team's valuable intel. The BLU Engineer relaxing in a chair and drinking beer with a Pyro by his side guarding the equipment the Engineer had built, including that dreaded Sentry Gun.

 _"Ugh, merde,"_ The Spy thought to himself, knowing that the Pyro cause his efforts to go to waste in an instant if he were found out. He took a good long look at his arsenal, carefully deciding what the best course of action would be, whether it be to sap the buildings to distract them or lead the Pyro out of the room via disguise and killing him somewhere else.

After thinking it over, he determined that the latter would be the better plan and briefly scanned over his disguise kit to see which one would be the most convincing. He finally decided on one, when...

"Heads up!"

Before he knew it, Spy was covered head to toe in jarate. He practically froze and wailed out of disgust before he looked up at the soon-to-be-dead bastard who threw it at him.

"Have fun tryna cloak your way outta THIS, ya spook!" The RED Sniper jeered at the Spy.

Upon the realization that this was Sniper's way of getting back at him for earlier, Spy rushed towards the snickering Sniper and grabbed him by his shirt.

"You idiot! Never mind the fact that you ruined my 3000 dollar suit, you'll cause our team to fail this entire operation by giving me away!" The Spy yelled, not caring that he was in the middle of enemy territory.

"I think you're doing a good enough job at that, Spy," Sniper said with a smug grin.

"How so?"

"Behind ya."

Spy turned around to see the BLU Pyro standing with her flamethrower pointed straight at the both of them. Spy realized what a grave error he made drawing attention to him by shouting so loudly.

Spy sighed out of defeat and looked back at Sniper. "This is all your fault."

In an instant the two were engulfed in flames, screaming in agony as they desperately tried to cling to whatever little life was left in them, all while looking up at the Pyro's menacing face. After a few moments, the two finally lied dead on the ground, their bodies charred black.

"Nice job, pardner," the BLU Engineer said to his Pyro colleague. The Pyro simply responded with a thumbs up and some unintelligible mumble that might have translated to "Thanks".

* * *

 **IMPORTANT:** **So, after putting this story off for so many months due to writer's block and going literally nowhere beyond the first two scenes, I've decided that I was just about fed up with waiting to put this thing out. So I'm pretty much pulling a Scott Cawthon and releasing it early in an unfinished state.**

 **The reason? For one, it was my plan for a while, to release it in multiple chapters. I had quite a lot of ideas for where the plot would go and what would happen, and a single chapter really wasn't gonna cut it. And two, I wanted to get some kind of feedback for any improvements I could make before I start picking up on it more. After all, practice makes perfect, right?**

 **So yeah, I know these two scenes don't really accomplish anything aside from letting us know that Sniper and Spy are kinda dicks to each other, but, again, I'm kinda having writer's block right now. I don't know how long it'll be before I get to work on the next few scenes, but I'll try to find the time to do so. Maybe it'll be pretty soon, maybe I'll procrastinate for another 3 months, who knows. Until then, let me know what you think of the story so far.**

 **Peace out, everyone.**


End file.
